The journey begins

Let me start by saying this is how I found to deal with my loss.  I decided to write about it.  I thought that maybe, by me putting myself out there, I could help someone else.  The journey has been long already, and it continues now.  I went off birth control last June, I was 32, I had been married for just over 4 years and with my husband for 7 years.  It was time to start trying.  We sure weren't getting any younger!  My cycles never became truly regular.  I had one cycle that was only 27 days.....then the next was 40 days.  I usually ranged between 33 and 35 days, ovulating 3 weeks after the first day of my period.  I had a friend who was trying also, although she was nearing the one year mark already and the start of fertility tests and treatment.  I had my yearly exam in October and told my midwife that we were actively trying.  She pretty much told me good luck, and if I didn't have any luck within a year, we would move forward down the long road of infertility.  Fast forward to May 2016.  The friend who had been doing fertility treatments became pregnant in April.  I just knew this was THE month.  I had a feeling I would get pregnant this month....and I did!  I couldn't believe it!  I had taken 4 tests starting about 9 days post ovulation right up to the day of my missed period, all were negative.  I woke up 3 days later and just said to myself I was going to test again for the hell of it, not expecting a positive result.  And there it was!  I used a Clearblue digital test, and it said "pregnant 1-2 weeks".  I told my husband, I told close friends who had known  we were trying and would ask me every month, I told my parents and one cousin. I really couldn't believe it, so I took 4 more tests over the next few days, all came back positive.   Everything was great!  My breasts were sore, I was exhausted and sleeping so much more than I normally would.  I called my midwife's office and made an appointment for June 15th.  My mom insisted on going shopping for a "little outfit" for the baby, so we picked out some cute onesies and grey pants from baby gap and a gender neutral sleeper with duck feet at Carters.  I got What to Expect When You're Expecting and started reading.  I was ready!  It was finally happening!  And I had a friend to go through it all with!  Things were moving forward!  Until they weren't.....